Depression: a mental state characterized by a pessimistic sense of inadequacy and a despondent lack of activity.
It was one year ago at the end of March that I was in the hospital with pneumonia and that along with other things have been weighing on my mind as of late. It has gotten to the point to where I just want to come home and sleep for hours on end. 12 plus hours to be exact. Plus, I have given up on my art of quilting. I just don't seem to care any longer. I felt like no matter what I do I am not good enough or that no one seems to even care what happens. When I think I have done my best people just tell me that was good, but you can do better or we need more. It like pulling on a rubber band and seeing how long you can stretch it before it breaks. They don't seem to realize that we all have a breaking point and I have hit mine. I have receded into myself and want to give up on the things in life that mean the most to me.
Good thing that I have a loving person in my life that has seen the signs in my life and had the forethought to get me medical attention. The doctor has put me on medication. I guess I really should say upped the medication that I was already on. My doctor also wanted me to go and see a therapist, but I am the type person that will tell them just what they want to hear and they will think that I have gotten better, when in reality I am just as bad, if not worse than I was before.
Today I have made a breakthrough in my eyes that is. It might just be a small one, but it is a step in the right direction. I have taken the Salt Air by Cosmo Cricket for Moda Fabrics layer cake I've had laying around and decided that I would cut it up in hopes of making a quilt. I still have a few more pieces that I need to cut, before I can begin sewing it into Reveille by Carrie Nelson of Miss Rosie's Quilts. I love her patterns and I have a soft spot in my heart for her. I am glad that she is able to help me get out of my funk.
I hope that each and every one of you have a blessed and Happy Easter!!
Until next time,